her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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