Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
