i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
