she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
