U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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