yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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