is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She's just so happy...and so naked.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
