I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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