my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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