how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
