We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
