you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
