he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
