if you like me you must not know who I am
I puked a lego.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
