; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
