I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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