we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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