Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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