i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize