so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
