i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
