i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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