even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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