I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
