If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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