Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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