Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
