somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
