I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
