Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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