I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
