I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
