I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
