wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We don't watch enough power rangers
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
