I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
