u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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