Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
