Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize