Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
