and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
