There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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