I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
