Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
