he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
