We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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