Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
