the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
