In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
