yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
