It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
