Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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