butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
