i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
